Ramblings From Adam Part Seven: The Martian: Fact or Less Fact?

Hey!

So, I’m reading The Martian, the book upon which the hit comedic film was based. I realize that it’s not necessarily all completely scientifically sound (for instance wind storms), although there is some real science in there.

Example: on Mars they create breathable air by using an oxygenator.

The idea is that if you breathe in a sealed environment, which is what they do in the story (being on Mars and whatnot), you’ll die due to carbon dioxide poisoning long before you run out of oxygen. The oxygenator breaks the C02 apart and gives them back oxygen.

Okay. Established. Now, I’m going to say some stuff that not everyone will agree with, because science is hard to think-learn, and follow that up with a question.

Here, on our real life Earth, we’re essentially wrapping ourselves in a blanket of greenhouse gases (water vapour, nitrous oxide, methane, carbon dioxide). Scientifically it has been proven to be, you know, bad. 

I don’t know about y’all, but I’d rather live in Star Trek future than Mad Max future.

So here’s my question: (and please consider that I’m just an idiot filmmaker, and I don’t know anything about anything, and I’m sure this has already been asked and answered) 

Why can’t we build something like the oxygenator for our own atmosphere? 

(Again, I apologize for my own ignorance.)

I mean, most of the greenhouse gases contain oxygen, which is what we need, right? And we’ve already changed the climate enough that we’ve nearly fucked it up permanently. So I don’t think that there are moral implications or whatever. (We're not "playing God" by messing with the climate 'cause we've already spent years "devil goofing" which is what got us in the predicament.) 

Is there a way to do this? Science nerds, get at me.

There’s a lot of us living on this planet, and a lot of us who would like to be able to sit on a cool patch of grass with their grandkids, and have a clear look at clean mountains, and not have to run inside to avoid acid rain. 

But lets say that, again, I’m just an ignorant writer (which is mostly true). We’ve gotta do something. And by “we” I mean all of us. Everyone of us. 

So take what you will from this short and sweet (read: dumb dreamer with a blog) post. But know this. I hate rain. So I’m really gonna be mad about acid rain.

Adam

P.S. One more thing. This trend towards everything being the most convenient has gotta wrap up. Haven’t y’all seen Wall-E? Fuck plastic, fuck someone delivering your groceries, fuck sitting on your couch and having your phone do everything for you. HAVE NOT. YOU ALL. SEEN. WALL-E?

If you haven't, you should. It's really good. 

James Bond!

Hello!

How’re you? I’m good, thanks for asking!

Hey, you know how you often sit around with three to ten of your friends thinking, “What would Adam do with the James Bond franchise?” Well get ready to collect on whichever bet you set, ‘cause I’m about to net your… uh… pet a, uh… jet…?*

*takes twenty minute coffee break, returns over caffeinated.

Okay, okay, okay you guys, here’s my idea for the James Bond franchise, no lies, he spies, sometimes in a vague disguise, often flies, he’s known to eat pies (gross), won’t compromise, wears ties, has two eyes, rarely cries, never dies (except for when he does), deals clockwise, uses innuendo when he implies, enjoys watching the sun rise, likes to exercise, when singing he’ll usually harmonize, knows how to compartmentalize, doesn’t need to write things down, and always tries (his best).

Hey, why aren’t promise and compromise not pronounced the same way?**

**crashes and takes twenty minute nap, returns evenly caffeinated.

I think, and I’m not the only one, that where the Bond franchise has perhaps steered wrong over the past few movies has been in their attempt to universe build. It’s fine for Marvel, who have a thousand-ty characters to choose from, and it’s okay for Star Wars, even though it isn’t really, but in this writer’s opinion it doesn’t work for James Bond (or Star Wars...). 

Again, I’m not the first nor the last to say this. I’m just the one who’s saying it right now.

I think the problem with building a Bond universe is that it begins to make Jimmy B too serious, and forces him to take himself too seriously. Don’t get me wrong, a Casino Royale gritty reboot Bond is the tits, but then they took it too far. Linking Casino Royale to Quantum of Solace was fine (writer's strike, etc...), but then it all began to get too intertwined, and reverse engineered, and farfetched but trying to be realistic at the same time. 

Remember the old Bonds? They had the same characters, played by different actors. Sometimes they’d reference his dear old deceased wife, sometimes they wouldn’t. Does Felix Leiter have legs? Does James Bond have chest hair? How’d they move all of M’s office to a half sunken boat or to the belly of a cargo plane? None of these questions needed answering, and they usually didn’t offer any answers, and we were all totally cool with it.

Sure, often times the movies required a Laffy Taffy stretch of the imagination (I’m looking at you, Moonraker and Die Another Day), but that’s what made them fun (I'm no longer looking at you Die Another Day). I don’t think anyone really wants a realistic James Bond movie. If we did we’d just watch the Mission:Impossible series. 

(I’m half-kidding about that.)

Damian, who writes and produces a bunch of stuff we make, says that they’re B-level movies with A movie budgets. Or at least, they used to be.

So, keeping that in mind, here is my proposal!

A Bond movie every year to two years!

Think about it. How cool would it be to get a new Bond every eighteen months, instead of every five years? And instead of swinging for the fences and making something that’s the BIGGEST AND CRAZIEST MOVIE EVER THAT DEMANDS YOU SEE IT IN THEATRES, EVEN IF THE STORY IS QUESTIONABLE, AND WE’RE GOING TO RELEASE IT EARLY BECAUSE THE FANS DEMAND IT, NOT JUST BECAUSE IT INFLATES THE OPENING WEEKEND BOX OFFICE, AND THERE DEFINITELY WEREN'T TOO MANY PRODUCERS OFFERING OPINIONS ON THIS, ALSO HIS NEW WATCH IS THE GREATEST WATCH AND YOU NEED ONE…

…why not make movies that are FUN?

Spectre cost something like 245 MILLION DOLLARS to make. That’s one sixteenth of what Disney paid for Star Wars. That’s a lot of scratch, yo.

John Wick cost something like 30 million.

Instead of buying a quarter of half of Star Wars, we could’ve had seven more Bond movies by now!

So let’s make ‘em at John Wick prices!

It could be so much fun! We throw out all thoughts of continuity. Screw ‘em. We didn’t need them before, we don’t need them now. Fun is being free, and being free is going to be more fun.

SO!

Let’s say there’s a new movie every year. That’s too many movies, but this is just the example. Every year we get a new Bond movie, but we also get a new Bond, a new director, a new era…

THINK ABOUT IT!

(Also, I’m trying to be as inclusive as possible but obviously not everyone will be happy with this list. Come up with your own, better list and we’ll pitch this idea together!)

2020: Tom Hiddleston is James Bond! Directed by Steven Spielberg! Set in 1974!

2021: Idris Elba is James Bond! Directed by Edgar Wright! Set in 1992!

2022: Benedict Cumberbatch is James Bond! Directed by Patty Jenkins! Set in 2016!

2023: Emily Blunt is James Bond! Directed by Quentin Tarantino! Set in 1964!

2024: Idris Elba returns! So does Edgar Wright! Set in 1993!

2025: Charles Melton is James Bond! Directed by the Coen Brothers! Set in 1944!

2026: Tommy H comes back with Stevie S! Now it’s 1982!

2027: Auli’i Cravalho is James Bond! Directed by a Canadian moron with a blog! It’s a comedy where James Bond has to deal with something mundane and relatable! Set in 2020!

Look at the variety of movies you’d get to watch, all with the same characters! Moneypenny! M! Q! Felix! Blofeld! Gadges! Cars! Oh man, think of all the cool cars!

An entire James Bond universe. You know what you’re getting, but you don’t have to watch the same movie with bigger explosions and crazy plot stretches trying to tie everything together. 

I don’t know about you, but this feels so right that it couldn’t possibly be wrong.

Now, a lot of this assumes that we survive whatever madness is provided by whichever crazies are holding political office, but if we DO survive, think about how glorious this could be!

Anyhoozies, tell your friends about this and when I meet up with Barbara Broccoli next month for our twice yearly, biannual, summer/winter get together I’ll include any ideas y’all have!***

***Unless they suck. Or if they’re better than my ideas, in which case I’ll claim them as my own and you can't stop me.

Love you!

Adam Canuck

 

 

Ramblings From Adam Part Six: Hey, Remember When I Did This Regularly?

Hiya! 

How're y'all doing? It's been a while since I did one of these, eh? I know, I've missed them just as much.

Speaking of writing, here's a post all about writing! This'll be fun for ME.

Sometimes I wonder if I"m actually a writer. Like, should I consider myself a writer? Refer to myself as a writer? Be proud of the work I've done? I'm not really tested, you know? Not to brag ('cause there ain't much that's braggable); I've written stuff and I've made stuff. Yay! But, like a lot of indie filmmakers at my level, or comic writers, or lyricists, sometimes finding an audience takes a while. 

Personally, I'm hoping that "a while" wraps up PDQ. 

So, I've got a body of work that can fit in a leaky thimble but I don't know if it's any good. 

But does it have to be good? Do I need people to see/read stuff that I've created out of my brain thoughts for me to feel validated-- yes, yes I do. But do I need those qualifications to consider myself a writer. 

Some people will say if you paint a picture then you're a painter. Which I guess is technically true... Again, I'd prefer the validation, but that's just me...

Then I guess I am a writer. And here's the thing, which I just realized last week. I'll complain all day, every day, and most of the night about not having anything to write. I'll claim that I don't have any ideas, that I haven't had any time to write, that I haven't put anything down.

HOWEVER... The last film project we shot, which had minimal writing in it, to be fair, was in July. I started to write it with Damian in April. Since then we wrote an entire Christmas variety show, and I've outline at least three projects, written one of those (poorly), and completely overhauled and done two passes on a limited series that Jess and I started two years ago. That's all within a year. 

That's a lot of writing, dude. Could I do more? YES. Do I want to do more? YES.

But... I guess, when it comes down to it, I should consider myself a writer. That's what I do. That's who I am. 

Please comment below to validate this statement.

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM, LIKE, LAST YEAR TO APRIL 15th

The difference between being a child and being an adult can be boiled down to how you feel about snow.

I'm never not thinking about Kevin's dog Mike Hat. 

Here's the problem with most reality shows, besides the obvious problem of them being terrible ideas that are dramatically edited to make it seem like something actually happens: the shitty music. Get rid of the terrible music and half of the shows are actually watchable (when there's a commercial during the show you're ACTUALLY watching on the other channel). 

We're showing the kids Singin' In The Rain and the kids won't stop saying "No, no, no! Yes, yes, yes!" It. Is. The. Greatest. (But also make it stop, please.)

Wrote 68 pages in the last two days. I'm pretty proud. I mean, they're not great pages...  but still.

Mice are terrifying because they're like GIANT FUCKING INSECTS. 

Vindictiveness level: Trayce didn’t want to watch Michael Bolton’s Big Sexy Valentine’s Day special so I live texted it to her while she was at work.

Goddamn, I don’t know if I’m any good at it, but I love writing. There’s nearly nothing that I do that makes me happier than looking at a script that I wrote. Not even reading it. Just looking at the formatting: the character cues, scene headers, dialog boxes, action description. I’d marry it if I could. 

There's no other way to describe the cold blood adrenaline rush of dropping one electronic device onto another, except for "FuuuUUUUUUUUU!"

You guys, sometimes I worry that there aren't enough spinoffs of TV shows that are still on the air. 

I will never understand how people can talk with their phones on speaker. It's the worst. You can barely hear shit through those speakers. Also, you're in public. I don't need to hear your baloney. Hold your phone up to your ear, you selfish, ignorant bastard. I don't care if you're my dad. 

Think about whenever you watch a "best food truck" or "most delectable restaurant" tv show. Imagine they're serving a burger. They look delicious, right? Especially in their imperfection. Juicy, stacked high, dripping, sliding. So why, then, do fast food commercials go to such great lengths to make their food look "perfect"? It. Do. Not. Make. Sense. (It do look plastic.)

Happiness is turning down a side street where there are no parking regulations and absolutely no other cars and NO ONE TO JUDGE HOW TERRIBLE YOU ARE AT PARALLEL PARKING.

Why does faking a phone call get us out of situations when the reality is that most people don’t make phone calls?

One Direction and Phox both hold the distinct honour of being discovered by me precisely the day before they went on indefinite hiatus.

The second season of Gilmore Girls fixes the double hug between Lorelei and Rory in the opening credits and life is alright again. 

Is Frankenstein’s monster adopted by the doctor? Or is he considered a son of sorts, because Frankenstein created life? ‘Cause then HE’S ALSO FRANKENSTEIN AND WE CAN STOP WITH THE “ACTUALLY”’S ALREADY.

I saw someone today wearing a baseball hat that said “Kangol” on it. My immediate thought was “stay in your own lane, Kangol.”

Jessica Jones gets more phone calls in half an episode than I’ve got since I turned 30. 

I could eat twelve boxes of triscuits a day. But not plain triscuits. Unless there’s a nice Boursin cheese or a slice of gruyere. I’m not an animal.

Any year that there isn’t a clear cut winner for Best Song at the Oscars, it should go to My Heart Will Go On again.

Legitimately, what’s the deal with people who would rather walk down the middle of the street where the cars are, than on the sidewalk? Is this a cultural thing? Like, is our culture become dumb people? Or is this an exercise alternative? “You know, Darlene, working out is just too much effort. So I’ve developed a new way to get flat abs.”

LOVE YOU GUYS, BYEEEE!

Adam

 

Here (Again) For Scarlett

Hiiiiiiiii! 

It's me! Adam! This website's only current featured writer! We really need more featured writers on this website...

In March we're going to be re-releasing Here For Scarlett, giving it away to the masses for the very low price of zero dollars! We've re-jiggered the opening credits a bit, adjusted some of the colour (yes, even though it's a black and white movie), and removed the post-credits scene which, to be fair, was an afterthought anyway... and which'll now be a collector's item! The first alternate ending in the Panic Mooniverse! 

So obviously in order to do all of this work I've had to revisit the movie a bunch over the last few weeks (including a commentary track that may or may not be released/re-recorded again), which was something I was hesitant to do for the last few years.

Part of the reason that I didn't want to watch the movie again was I was burnt out from making it. I remember on the very last day of principal photography, of about a twenty three days-ish shoot schedule, I was super pumped and full of energy and wanted to jump right into filming something else. Because filming is the fun part. But after months of working on the fine cut, finishing sound post, finalizing the music, etc... I was sick of the bastard. It takes so stupid long to finish a project, especially when you're either doing the work yourself or you have to wait for other people who are helping you. (Which is fine. They have other stuff to do rather than focus full time on a job they're volunteering for.)

It also didn't help that we were recording the music for the band in the movie on our days off... (We'd shoot Wednesday through Sunday, then I'd be in the studio on Monday and Tuesday, for all of April). I'm saying I really needed a nap, dude.

Another part of the reason that I didn't want to revisit HFS was because I was disappointed at the response to it. One family member told me that there were "too many story lines," a friend's family member said that I "should cut myself out of the movie" (As if, dude. How else'm I gon' be in the pictures? Although I guess if I cut myself out of the movie it would help with that "too many story lines" comment...), and other than that I kinda got nothing back. 

Like, almost zero response. Not much from the cast or crew (I don't begrudge them; they're busy, they have other projects that they've moved on to, and their responsibility is not to mollycoddle my fragile ego), and definitely none from film festivals. So that all sucked. I mean, it could be worse. We finished a feature length movie, which not everyone has done. We hadn't even done it before then. But it still sucked.

The third reason that I didn't want to revisit the movie was because I felt like I let people down. Sure, we finished the flick. We shot it and we edited it and we goddamn got it done. However, and this is probably tied into not receiving much feedback, I alway felt like everyone who worked on the movie hated it. YES, that's most likely just me. BUT... We'd just spent a month making this thing, working hard every day, and then when it was finished there was just radio silence. So it felt like a real "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" situation. 

I also made the mistake of underestimating post-production. This was the first project that we'd finished on a feature-length scale, and I somehow thought we'd be done in a month. So that was dumb. It also, in my opinion, wrecked the music that I'd spent a year working on. I rushed everyone through the studio, thinking that just 'cause I knew what I wanted it to sound like it would magically work out, when if we'd taken a little extra time, another few weeks, we could've had something really great. Now, 'cause of my own impatience/impractical thinking, I can't stand to listen to any of the songs that I was really proud of writing. Oh well. Sigh.

BUT HERE'S THE THING:

Holy shit, we made a fucking movie. 

Watching it back for the first time in almost a four years I was reminded of all of the AMAZING performances (both on and off screen, from principal photography through to post). I could tell y'all how Tyler as Kurt is crazy hilarious and soft-spoken, how Chrissy as Erika is supportive and vulnerable and hurt, how Dani as Scarlett knocks it out of the park every time she's on screen (especially considering that she'd sit around for hours, waiting, in order to work for two minutes), how Corey as Vera is ditzy and charming and maybe a little off-kilter, how Tara and Faith as Dana and Isabella are ridiculously honest when they speak to each other... I could tell you all of this, but I won't. 

Also, that's not to discount all of the other amazing actors in the piece. Legit, everyone's great. Even two of the three children (I'm the third).

Other than a handful of at-the-time-relevant-but-now-dated references I still dig the writing. I was pleasantly surprised at a bunch of the shot choices. There's a practical effect that we use a bunch that still thrills me, especially the last one (you'll know it when you see it- yes, that is a practical effect. Not even a crossfade in that piece, yo!).

The point is, I was very conflicted about this movie for a very long time. Maybe I should've been, maybe I shouldn't've. But I'm glad that I've checked it out again with (more or less) fresh eyes, and I at last dig it.

And I hope y'all dig it too.

TALK SOON!!!

Adam Canuck

A Score That's Not The Same...

Hi! It's me! Adam! 

I was just driving home, listening to the Luke Cage soundtrack, and thought that I'd write a post about scoring our latest movie. Both because I'd like to make a log of what I was thinking during composition (because I'll surely forget my reasoning by the time we actually release the movie/music) and because now we're doing a monthly newsletter, so CONTENT BAYBEE!

Last summer (specifically July 2017, for all y'all lazy historians), we here at PMP filmed a feature over three straight days. I'll write more about this experience another time, or you can seek out the episodes of Tired Nighttime Anecdotes where I blather on endlessly in a successful attempt to bore my wife and our audience. Point is, I wouldn't recommend shooting a feature length film (our current run time is 125 minutes) over anything less than a week.

Anyhoozies, the inspiration for this flick came from Damian lending me the mumblecore movie Quiet City which led to questions about their shoot schedule which led to discussions about us trying to make our own mumblecore movie which led to us shortening our lifespans by making Not The Same. One of the things that I knew I wanted to do for NTS was compose the score, which I had done for our previous two features (Here For Scarlett, and The Reconnaissance of Josie Laurene). And because of the style of movie, I was going to do it all on piano.

Which I did. Problem is I suck on piano. Okay, I don't suck. But I'm nothing to write home about. Luckily TECHNOLOGY! 

Here's another problem. As I'm writing this post I'm listening to the soundtrack to Spirited Away, which I just discovered last week (apologies for being late to the party, all you Hisaishi Heads), and it's SO GOOD that I'm mad at myself for evening contemplating composing a limerick, let alone a soundtrack. But OH WELL. 

So here's the story of the music for Not The Same, with a little bit of movie story sprinkled in here and there:

In Not The Same there are eight characters, each with their own wants and needs, their own emotions relative to the main character, their own pants. (Nobody shared pants on our movie. I did lend out a hoodie, which you can see in the film and also here.) I wanted to make sure that each character and their wardrobe (kidding) got their own theme, but more importantly for me (because I'm a lofty narcissist), I wanted to compose something that could be it's own stand-alone product. Maybe in the future people will hear the music and be all "I like this. Oh wait, there's a movie too? That's cool." Also maybe in the future people and cats will have switched roles as to the dominant species on the planet. I personally would be super down with being a domestic house human. 

Rambling too much. FOCUS, Adam. 

The story in Not The Same is completely scripted and we put in a lot of work on each of the characters, but other than a few scenes all of the dialogue (or most of it, anyway) is improvised. Mumblecore, baybee. I wanted to have that same feeling for the music, so most of the pieces were improvised as I recorded them. Again, luckily TECHNOLOGY so I was able to make most things listenable and remove sour notes and whatnot. But there's no click track and no quantizing notes, so everything should hypothetically sound a little more real (considering it's all digital and the piano is a very fake program).

Here are the breakdowns to the themes for each character:

Movement A: This is all about Allie, the protagonist. The song starts off with melodic arpeggios on the left hand, joined by a simple melody from the right hand. As Allie delves into her own story, and complications arise, so does the music get more intense. The melody changes from a single note line to chords. Then, in the middle of the song, there's a quiet section, a moment of clarity as Allie discovers what she needs to do to complete her characters journey. Then, determined, the music begins to build in volume and tempo, until the final notes... which are left hanging, without a satisfying conclusion (because MYSTERY). This piece doubles as Allie's character arc, as well as the arc of the story. 

Movement B: Blanca is an angrier character, who is also a classical pianist. So her theme, which has Allie's briefly wrapped through it (as does her life), is darker, more spirited, looking for a fight, and my (weak) attempt at writing something that's a little more classical. There are a lot of conflicting parts to the song, where the left and right hands are competing with each other, which is meant to represent Blanca's inner conflict. Yeah, that's right. 

Movement C: Courtenay is a straight forward character who always speaks honestly, so her music is also fairly straight forward. There aren't a lot of complicated chord progressions, and there are only two distinct sections, one of which has Allie's theme in it, but unobtrusively as the character's relationship is fairly smooth.

Movement D: This one is a little jazzier, and very to the point. There isn't a lot of variation, because Dusty doesn't dick around. Dusty feels like Allie is never really honest, so Allie's theme doesn't play a major role in this piece, just flits in and out quickly. BLINK AND YOU'LL MISS IT. BUT, YOU KNOW, WITH YOUR HEARING EYES.

Movement E (Variations on The World's End): I wrote a song for Here For Scarlett called The World's End, named after the Edgar Wright movie (because Edgar Wright is never Edgar Wrong). At the time I'd had an actor/musician suddenly drop out of the project and it was a real devastating moment for me. I wrote The World's End that afternoon, because it felt like everything wasn't going to work out so why not be all musically sad and stuff? The song is featured in Here For Scarlett and again in The Reconnaissance of Josie Laurene (if you see both movies you'll get why). My friend Matt, who does a lot of our sound post production, hates the song because he's had to hear it so many goddamn times. So obviously I wanted to find a way to put it in this project too. (I'll keep y'all posted as to his feelings about it.) Thematically in Not The Same it connects well with Eddie's character on about three different levels (which I'm not going to get into, but you'll know 'em when you see 'em with your hearing eyes). Eddie has become immune to Allie's ways, so her theme is absent.

Movement F: We don't know a lot about Flip. She seems nice, she seems caring, she's definitely the youngest and most sensitive of the group. Because she's the most likely to give Allie an emotional response that Allie's not prepared or willing to embrace, Allie has pushed her away. So this piece is short and simple, and Allie theme is again absent.

Movement G: Grey is one of the more emotionally mature characters in the film. Her music has a few different sections, which are meant to show her depth of character. Erin, who plays Grey, came to set with the idea that Grey has always looked up to Allie (which is a great note), so Grey's music is front-loaded with a variation of Allie's theme, which then evolves as it grows into Grey's music. 

Movement H: This fucker is long. As it's at the end of the flick, it brings back themes from the characters who mean the most to Allie. She, Blanca, and Courtenay are the closest so it intertwines their music together, and the music changes from simple lines to complicated chords as it goes on. The movement, echoing the entire score, starts simple and builds to something big utilizing different sections as it goes. Towards the end of the piece there's a section that's completely built on Chopsticks (you know Chopsticks, right? Everyone knows Chopsticks). The idea is that to get where she wants to go, Allie needs to take off all of her emotional armour and be as vulnerable as she was when she was younger. Chopsticks is usually one of the first things that kids'll learn on a piano, so it's the basis of the section of the song. 

OKAY.

So that's that, then. I commend you if you've read this far. I also commend myself if in the future people are interested in the movie and the music and are linking to this post. Is linking still a thing, future people? Or do your cat masters not let you have internet access?

Love you, byeeeeeee!

Adam Canuck

 

Panic Moon Productions' Third Annual Christmas Pageant and Non-Denominational Holiday Spectacular

Hello, Friends of the Panic-Mooniverse,

Panic Moon Productions has returned yet again with their Third Annual Christmas Pageant and Non-Denominational Holiday Spectacular! 

Christmas Show Cover.jpg

Join Adam Canuck Zimmerman, Damian Lloyd, Gail the Human Resources Director at the North Pole, the John Scott Taylor Orchestra, the Jimmy Hollyburg Singers and Dancers, Darcy the Christmas Leprechaun, every single one of Santa’s Reindeer, and many more special guests as they help to make your spirits bright! 

The Third Annual Panic Moon Productions’ Christmas Pageant and Non-Denominational Holiday Spectacular is brought to you by a generous grant from the FlyTower Hotel!

Listen on iTunes! Listen on SoundCloud! Listen on BandCamp!

Music mixed and mastered by Ricardo Viana.

Additionally, the hit single Christmas List by The Arbitrary Jukebox, featuring Rishi Bish, can be downloaded for FREESIES here.

Additionally further, the music from Panic Moon Productions' Third Annual Christmas Pageant and Non-Denominational Holiday Spectacular can be downloaded (also for FREESIES) here.

Have a Merry whatever it is you celebrate, and an OPTIMISTIC NEW YEAR.

Peace and love,

The Entity Known As Panic Moon Productions

Trayce's On The Hunt

Hello, Friends of the Panic Mooniverse,

Our resident Trayce, producer of films and co-host of Tired Nighttime Anecdotes, has a new podcast coming soon! 

You seen, Trayce likes four men named Chris: Pratt, Hemsworth, Pine, and Evans. And she's curious to know more about them. So she's starting a show called Come A Little Bit Closer: The ChrisCast. Every week she'll ask a different question, and try to learn as much as she can about each Chris on her list.

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Tune in soon to learn about four men named Chris!

Until a time in the future,

The Entity known as Panic Moon Productions

Look! A Lyric Video for Here Comes Josie On A Spy Mission!

Hello, Friends of the Panic-Mooniverse,

As we approach the wrap on post-production for The Reconnaissance of Josie Laurene (and the imminent anxiety of waiting to hear back from film festivals, coupled with the awkwardness of walking around for weeks with perpetually crossed fingers/toes), we are also approaching the release of the official soundtrack!

That's right! Thirty-nine entire musical interludes to take you through your day! 

To celebrate, here's a lyric video for the film's theme song "Here Comes Josie On A Spy Mission"! 

Let us know what you think by sending us psychic scalp massages!

Until a future date,

The Entity known as Panic Moon Productions

 

How The NHL Could Change The Draft Lottery

The NHL draft lottery sucks. Unless your team moves up, then it's great. But if you're like me and cheer for a team that's moved down twice in two years, or if you cheer for the Avalanche (who should've really gotten the first pick), or are excited for the Vegas Gladys Knights (who shouldn't've moved at all because how did they have a chance to secure a spot?), it sucks. 

It sucks when all of a sudden a team is being cheered against by their "fans," who want a higher draft pick. "Tanking the season" is terrible. It's terrible to want your team to not succeed. It's bad for the moral of the players and management of the team you support to hear you saying you want them to lose. It's a terrible example to set for young fans. It's terrible to listen to the "long time fans" who call into radio shows with their opinions (as well as to those who verbally accost me in parking lots 'cause of the of team hat I wear). It's terrible for the actual fans who are happy as long as their team does their best-- yes, this is me and yes, I know that it's probably not a popular opinion, but only one team is winning the Cup this year so why not have a positive attitude if it's not going to be our season? 

So how to change it for the better? I say, get rid of it. 

Look, the best hockey is playoff hockey, right? I think everyone will agree on that. It's hockey where there's something to play for, other than just getting to the playoffs. So why only have 16 teams competing after mid-April? Why send half of the league home? 

I mean, everyone's planning on making the playoffs. It's not like the Panthers are making plans for May at the beginning of November. Every team is ready and willing to play as long as possible.

So instead of everyone who isn't playoff bound going home and depending on a ping pong ball (or whatever) to determine the draft order, here's what I propose: Let's have a second tournament, a Spring Draft Tournament. Winner gets top draft pick. (Name of tournament to be workshopped...)

Think about it. A lot of the NHL players go and play in the Men's World Championship. They still want to play. Fans of [team not going to playoffs] aren't always going to support some other random team. More hockey is more hockey.

The owners win: they'll get to keep selling tickets. They'll get to keep promoting their team, and have their team on TV, and have their local reporters write about actual hockey and not just speculate for five months on what the team's going to look like next season.

The league will win: more hockey, more revenue. A Spring Draft Tournament, a parallel tournament that'll wrap up before the big show at the end of May, and will keep even more people watching.

The fans win: MORE HOCKEY FOR YOUR HOME TEAM, NO MATTER WHAT!

The season will become more exciting. Everyone will want to stay competitive for the post-season, no matter which of the two events you're playing in. Trade deadline won't be just about selling anymore. It'll be about actual trades that'll benefit both teams involved. And, hypothetically, there could be trades all season long, not just on Trade Deadline Day.

If the Avalanche finish in last place this year, and they're eliminated from contention early in the Spring Draft Tournament, they'll want to bolster their roster early on the next season. If the Red Wings are hit with a lot of injuries during the year, they'll have to look to trades in order to stay competitive or risk slipping too far down the rankings. Trades, baby! Remember the nineties? (Remember Enrico Ciccone?)

Every game will matter, every point will matter, because you want to be at the top of the second pile (if not somewhere in the top pile). The higher you finish, the better your chances of playing a weaker team and getting a shot at the top draft pick. The Flyers are out of the playoffs, but not by much. They know that even though they were eliminated with three games to go, those three games are important if they want primo position in the Spring Draft Tournament. No coasting to the spring.

It'll remove "The Tank." No team is going to want to go into the Spring Draft Tournament in last place. And if you are in last place, you want it to be by a hair. Every team in the NHL, no matter where they place, will want to be as strong as possible. Nobody will want to play the Islanders if they barely missed the playoffs. That's still a good team. You want to face [other team] who were unfortunately mis-managed and whose top eight goalies are incapacitated. (I know that's not likely to happen. I'm just saying...)

"Okay then," says the naysayer. "What about if the Devils miss the playoffs by a point, win the Spring Draft Tournament, and then the next year it's the Rangers, and then the Devils again? Wouldn't all of the weaker teams stay weaker and the middle-to-top teams rotate through first picks?" 

Yeah, okay, that could happen. But the point is that EVERY game in the season will matter. EVERY moment. Your home team needs to continue to get better. If your GM can't make the trade, or your coach can't deliver, or your top line centre meets a romantic interest who doesn't want him to hurt his face so he's given up on fighting for pucks in the corners, then change will come. 

Now, I havne't bothered to think through the actual organization of the SDT (name to be workshopped...). I imagine it would be series' that were best of three, or five, in order to get everything over before the Stanley Cup Finals. I mean, I've come up with the idea. I'll let Gary worry about the details.

I, personally, would love it if every team had the chance to fight for the top draft pick. Because I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets mad when certain teams get six thousand number one picks in a row, while we get pushed so far backwards we're drafting players for the MLS team in the stadium next door.

Wouldn't you rather get the fifteenth pick knowing that your team tried their best, and it wasn't just random chance?

Hockey should be about playing to win. Not playing to place last, in order to win two or three seasons from now.

Adam Canuck Zimmerman (not completely qualified to write an NHL think piece) 

Thanks Y'all!

Hello, Friends of the Panic-Mooniverse,

What a month April was! Thanks to all of you, and your support for The Reconnaissance of Josie Laurene, we were able to complete a successful crowd-funding campaign!

You guys all rock, but we'd like to take a moment to shout out some of our supporters and collaborators who went above and beyond! Prepare for a paragraph of names in no particular order!

Thanks to Andrew Burfitt! Stephen Schick! Jim Peskin! Rob MacLennan! Reza Ahktar! Faith Numada! Mal Yondel! Albus Dumbledore! Melanie Hill! Danyal Mia! Lynne Loveday! JoJo Pratt! Damian Lloyd! Jessica Lee! Sean Manuel! Matt Smalley! Olly Bian! David Julé! Stephen Bohus! Joanna Gaskell! Benjamin Platten! Roury Switzer! Mark Darling! Marcelo Guerra! Desiree Lydia! Maja Milkovich! Corey Woods! Tyler Burrows! Alison Magill! If we forgot someone, it's because after a month of pushing the campaign most of us can barely remember all of the Monty Python movies, let alone the proper technique for polishing an ostrich! 

You guys, thanks again for everything you did to make this a successful April. We hope to have lots of film festival news for you over the next few months!

We're In Demand now on IndieGoGo, so you can continue to tell your friends and family and they can keep getting the offered perks! Fun!

Until some other time that's not this time,

The Entity known as Panic Moon Productions

 

 

We're Almost There, Baybee! (Also, #ReconOJosieL)

Hello Friends of the Panic-Mooniverse,

(This is being written in advance, so please forgive the murkiness of our otherwise crystal clear clairvoyance.)

There's a few more days to go on our campaign for The Reconnaissance of Josie Laurene. You guys have been amazing, helping us spread the word and reach (as of this writing) 93% of our goal! 

Seriously. We couldn't've done it without you.

So here's the thing. We don't know if we're going to stay at 93%, or if we're going to make it to 100. (The latter would be a pleasant surprise.) But here's a definite promise. 

We will always be your friend.

Now here's a promise of something more tactile!

If we're lucky enough to get fully funded, we will post and share a video (commissioned by our brilliant and beautiful producer Trayce), that not only proves that Carlton Banks is some sort of android, but that Star Wars can mash up beautifully with nearly anything!

It's under a minute, and it's well worth it. Trust us. We're still chortling.

Hoping to make you chortle soon as well also,

The Entity Known as Panic Moon

 

Another IndieGoGo Contest for #ReconOJosieL

Hello Friends of the Panic-Mooniverse,

Good morrow to all of our kind supporters! For you, a second IndieGoGo contest! This will run from April 24th to the 28th, 2017, and is for ANYBODY WHO'S DONATED TO US EVER (for this campaign...).

Don't forget to find us on Facebook and Twitter, and to use the hashtag #ReconOJosieL when doing so! (It's short for the title of the movie. Did you get that? Of course you did, you is smart.) 

Thank y'all so much for helping our campaign, and for being you. You're the only you, and we love you for it.

Talk soon! Smooches!

The Entity known as Panic Moon Productions

An IndieGoGo Contest for #ReconOJosieL

Hello Friends of the Panic-Mooniverse,

Today we are chuffed to introduce an IndieGoGo contest! This is for the week of April 10th to the 14th, 2017, and is for anybody who has yet to donate! How can you still get perks (for free) if you haven't donated? WATCH THE VIDEO, FOOLS.

(We'll have another contest next week, so make sure to tune back in for that...)

Don't forget to find us on Facebook and Twitter. Write to us. We're lonely. 

Thank you very much for helping us get our campaign out there! We appreciate you.

Love you, byeeeeeeee!

The Entity known as Panic Moon Productions

Indeed, Go Go to IndieGoGo

Hello Friends of the Panic-Mooniverse,

Waaaaaaay back in August 2016 we of Panic Moon Productions spent a weekend filming the majority of a feature film, "The Reconnaissance of Josie Laurene."

Now, in April 2017, we're close to finishing post-production and preparing to submit the film to festivals around the world! This is where we can use your help.

If you would be so kind, please check out our IndieGoGo campaign page; if you can donate, then that's fantastic! But equally as important is if you can help spread the word about us. If you use the IndieGoGo share links, we can keep track of who's helping us out (which may be a part of a contest in a few weeks...).

Please make sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and remember to tell your friends about us!

Thank you in advance for helping us have a successful crowdfunding campaign!

Sincerely,

The Entity known as Panic Moon Productions

The Mischievous Shoes at the West Chester International Short Film Festival

Hello Friends Of The Panic-Mooniverse,

We are delighted to share with you some verily exciting news. Dallas Zimmerman's film, "The Mischievous Shoes," has been accepted by the West Chester International Short Film Festival and will be shown on April 29, 2017!

We are all incredibly proud to have been recognized, and grateful to everybody everywhere, those with legs, and those with hair.

Until a time other than this,

The entity known as Panic Moon Productions